Strive for Satisfaction, Not Perfection

There is a dreamer inside of me who is always lusting for more and better. I mostly like her. She keeps me very optimistic, maybe even slightly ignorantly optimistic, which gives me the ability to dream of better, then actually sometimes act on the dream. The problem is, dreaming takes me out of the moment I am in and implies there is something lacking with my current circumstances. At her best, the dreamer helps me imagine, then create, my most true and beautiful life. At her worst, the dreamer is stuck in a “grass is always greener” complex trying to find how all situations can be optimized. The dreamer loves the idea of perfection. She wants to build the perfect life. But when I try for perfection, I’m left with a mix of disappointment, dissatisfaction, and anxiety. This is why I am working toward developing a mindset of seeking satisfaction, instead of seeking perfection.

Perfectionism is a way of being that is rooted in fear that takes us out of the present moment. When we allow perfection fear in the drivers seat, we are no longer operating as our grounded selves. Instead, we are doing the exhausting mental gymnastics of trying to exert control over something out of our control. And when we are fearful and trying to control, we are not acting as our best selves or creating our most true and beautiful lives. We must hot potato the fuck out of our fears. Once we notice it in our hands, let it go. If we don’t, we will be burned. 

By letting go of my fears, time after time, I am starting to find my antidote to perfection seeking: satisfaction. Perfection fear tries to tell me that I am wasting my time because something better could be out there. Satisfaction shows me the beauty of right now and reminds me I can always adapt in the moment if needed. Satisfaction is based in reality and is rooted in the here and now experience. Satisfaction tells me when something is enough, at least for right now. And wow, even a passing moment of feeling “enough” is a revolution in our Capitalistic, Eurocentric culture. 

I’m unlearning perfectionism to come back home to satisfaction. Things do not need to be perfect to be the right fit for me. I could sweat over finding the perfect job, or I could assess which job would bring me the most satisfaction. I could get anxious about finding the right city to call home, or I could notice what works and doesn’t work around me, then make the adjustment. 

I still want my dreamer to let her imagination run wild; it’s fun. But I am using my discernment to let go of imagining based in fear and scarcity. I am not seeking perfection; I am seeking satisfaction. Breathing in, I have enough in the moment. Breathing out, I feel satisfaction radiate throughout my being.